In what way does shaolin kung fu / non agressive help my 12 y/old rebel son to self decipline?

can you please give me example what do they do. if my son gets board . he will never want to go..i need him to forget about skateboarding and am trying to find something that i hope he won't say "no" any information might help, thanks :)

In what way does shaolin kung fu / non agressive help my 12 y/old rebel son to self decipline?
I've said this for a long time, so let's see if I get ignored yet again. The martial arts shouldn't be the first line of discipline in your child's life. You should be. Discipline always ALWAYS starts at home.





The people on the Internet have no idea about what kind of martial arts schools are in your area. There is no way any of us can give you an accurate picture of what other schools are doing. If you want to find out, then I suggest that you go find out by watching some classes at nearby dojos. This will take an investment of your time if you want to be successful.





But if your kid is a punk and a rebel, then being in the martial arts isn't going to help him. All that it will do is teach him how to beat people up.





Don't use the martial arts as a disciplinarian tool or else it's going to end up biting you in the butt. Good luck.
Reply:My 12 yr old daughter is studying for her jr black belt in tae kwon do. she is an A student. martial arts helps kids focus and train their bodies. The skills and disciplines learned can help with self defense and with learning to properly channel aggression. Interview the instructors to find out how they run the class and what they expect of the students outside of class. Martial arts students are not allowed to use their skills outside of class for anything other than self defense. If they slip up, they must tell the teacher and serve a punishment, such as 20 military-style pushups. Again, my daughter goes to TKD 3x/week, is an assistant instructor and a member of the sparring/forms teams that competes in the Northeast.





Good luck!
Reply:As someone who is active in shaolin kung fu, I will say that it is not the art, but the person who takes it that determines its effects. All schools are different, but your son will go through different stretching, kicking, and jumping exercises as well as learning basic forms. He will be able to graduate to using weapons (staff, etc) at some point. I have never become bored with it, but some students do merely because it does not interest them - the same for piano, football, jogging, or any hobby. A 12 year old might find it "cool" because some of the things you learn to do "look cool" and it succeeding increases self confidence. Using the art negatively is not allowed and generally punishable. It all depends on your son.





I suggest you research the schools in your area if he is interested, and see if they will let you either watch or try out a class or two before committing. Visit a few different types of martial arts and determine which style best fits him.





The most important thing you can do for your son is to find a hobby that you can support him in doing - martial arts or not. Hope this is helpful!
Reply:why are you trying to get him to forget about skateboarding???? do you think skateboarding is the problem??? honestly if you think skateboarding is the problem your dead wrong, like the first guy said you should be teaching him discipline





dont take away his hobbie or he will be even more rebellious,





also ITS CALLED GROUNDING HIM not just go to your room, i mean take his skateboard away for like a week he will never learn to not be rebellious if he doesnt learn that there will always be consequences for every wrong decision
Reply:What was said by Ay Bay Bay and Oddeye is right Martial Arts can help build self discipline but if you want him to learn Self Discipline first you must show him at home. Also Skateboarding might not be the reason for him being a rebel. It might be what he watches, who he hangs out with, with all due respect it might even be you and his farther. Rebelling comes from having no respect for authority and Martial Arts is not a quick fix answer it's sort of like applying a band-aid to a broken bone.





You need to teach him self-discipline at home and not hope Martial Arts will fix all your problems. If you want him to learn something with self discipline you could try Air Cadets or something like that and if he says "NO" then you say "to bad" and drag him along anyway. remember rebelling comes from having no respect for authority so you must show him to respect authority first yours at home then other people.
Reply:Shaolin kung fu or wushu will discipline your son through form and instruction but there needs to be something to keep him interested or else he won't be interested in the sport. I recommend some kind of system of rewards or something. But also have him watch lots of kung fu movies and stuff to make him think "Oh yea i wanna be like that guy!" thats what happened to me :)
Reply:I disagree with parts of Oddeye and other posts.





I grew up without a father my whole life, by the time I was 13, my mom had no control over me whatsoever. I was getting into trouble and no male authority figure in my life.





I had quit soccer and all the other sports when we moved to a new neighboorhood/school district.





Mom asked me if I was interested in Karate. I said yes, and in my mind, I was going to learn how to fight. We had to sign a year contract, and money was really tight, so I had to commit to it for at least a year, 2-3 times a week. I could ride the bus to class after school. So we signed up for Kenpo Karate, and that's where my love of martial arts began. I unknowingly became more mature, more respectful, more confident and more disciplined in my life.





I eventually got into several other martial arts, joined the army, and eventually traveled to Korea and Japan. It was a life changing experience.





Also, it doesnt have to be Kung Fu, it can be any martial art, as long as the school promotes discipline. Some of the newer MMA schools are all about agression and fighting, and have dismissed the traditional ways of martial arts training.





I suggest you find a place close by and see if you can do some trial classes, see how he likes it. Also, make sure you privately talk to the head instructor about what you are hoping to gain from this experience. Make sure he thinks he can help.





Good luck.





James
Reply:When I was a kid I sawed up the rollers skates my folks bought me for christmas and made rooler skates with the wheels. 40 years later I own and run a millwork and cabinet shop. I learned some martial arts along the way, got in lots of fights and am now a confirmed pacifist. You only have linmited control over kids. Example is the best way to go, doing tings together is the way to teach dicipline, if you have it to teach.
Reply:Whatever the martial art it is the individual school that is important. Most of the arts teach self discipline, courtesy, respect, and academic achievement is encouraged. Try to find a school where the students are having fun as well as learning. There is nothing "magic" about one art verses the other in this regard. I may get some thumbs down for that, however I stand on my life experience.


Every one who does a sport whatever it is will hit a slump after some period of time. this is when a parent or friend needs to encourage and perhaps push a little to get them through the slump.


Most martial arts schools have a brief work out followed by some work on drills (boring part) followed by a game for the younger students. It is up to the individual instructor to make it interesting and fun. Therefore school shopping is important.


A good book for an overview of martial arts is found in the For Dummies books. Martial Arts for Dummies I think is the title.


I have had many parents come and sound exactly like you.


Most of the time we are successful with their children.


Please avoid paying a large enrollment fee or signing a long term contract. This is often the sign of a McDojo; a place to be avoided.